


When No One's Watching

by brandneweyesz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Barebacking, Canon Compliant, Canon-ish, Kind of happy ending, M/M, Referenced Anxiety, Solo Harry Styles, but it's not that serious i think??!, implied they are clean because they haven't been with other people, mentioned anxiety, solo zayn - Freeform, year 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 11:50:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21118319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandneweyesz/pseuds/brandneweyesz
Summary: Now all he can do is wait, and that’s what he’s been doing for the past three hours. The longest three hours.-Or the one where Harry texts Zayn before the start of his new era.





	When No One's Watching

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! So I started this story months after Fingers released and I was literally in the middle of posting it when Lights up launched. And then I had to make changes in story after I checked it out. I was shocked by the new sound and seeing the video my heart was in my mouth.
> 
> As I watched it, it hit me then, Zayn was holding Harry like that in One Thing video lol. But again co-incidence as Im posting it on one year of Fingers. 
> 
> PS – I changed the sequence of Harry’s tweet and tweets about DYKWYA posters to fit into storyline. 
> 
> Title is from I won’t mind by Zayn.
> 
> Thank you guys and enjoy !! Hope you'll like it.  
Sorry for the long note but leave kudos and comments if you like, it’d really mean world to me.
> 
> Disclaimer : I don’t know or own any of the characters or songs mentioned. But the plot is mine.
> 
> -

*

He knew he’s in deep shit the moment he typed the text to be honest.

But pressed send anyway. Now the text has been sent _and_ received. _Fuck. _He wasn’t sure of _that._

Harry has always been weak when it comes to Zayn. And this time wasn’t any different.

He is been hearing the song Zayn released and shit it brought back all the memories he been avoiding. It was also not different this time, like always.

Harry was contemplating whether to text Zayn or not since the other night and what he was about to do for a long time and finally decided to not listen to his fucking mind this time and texted him this morning. That’s why he is jittery from the nerves and the looming fact that Zayn may ignore it or _him_ again. He barely got any sleep last night and now is losing his mind.

It’s been _years_ he thinks sombrely to himself, barely able to down his fourth cup of coffee. _What would he think of me?_

Harry gave a lot of thought to what he should say staring at the blank screen with blinking cursor staring back at him, challenging him. After thinking he’s had enough and it was going to be just a simple text, he typed “I’m here.” as if he’s sure that Zayn is keeping track of him like he does. Oh if he only knew how close to truth he was to think that.

But now all he could do is wait for something from Zayn; _anything_, and that’s what he’s doing for the past three hours. _Longest _three hours_. _Waiting _just_ like old times. He curses himself for listening to his heart this time. _Fuck._

_No shame in what we need…_

He took cold shower in a futile effort to calm himself down. Waiting, he slowly starting to regret what he’d done. How can he be so stupid, he doesn’t know if Zayn still even has his number or if he’ll text Harry back, or if he is allowed to do it, if Zayn want him to talk. And he doesn’t want to think about _that_ in particular.

In all his efforts to just will himself to calm down, and to stop pondering over the text, and worrying over what will happen, he doesn’t bother to check if Zayn has actually read his message or not. He thinks there’s no point in checking it if he’s not going to have a reply, well he hasn’t heard his phone ring right? So he tells himself it doesn’t matter. _Liar. _It matters more than he wants to even realize.

Because it matters and Harry does want Zayn to see his message, now with his mind on a loop, his hands twitch to see if he accidently put his phone on silent and that Zayn might have replied and he didn’t know. His stomach does something weird at the thought. What if he had. The fact that he wants it to be true and yet dreading what is to come, it’s fucking with his mind and he wants to throw up.

He was about to check his phone after waiting for hours which feels like months to Harry at this point. He jumps at the sudden sound from his phone as it pings notifying he got a text. He almost has a heart attack wondering if the text is from who he thinks it’s from. _Should have had assigned different tone for him he thinks._

He is shaking as he goes to coffee table to check who the text is from, and as he taps it open his hand starts to tremble, eyes wide reading the message. Yes the devil itself has answered. So it seems that the number is correct and active and he has answered and Harry’s got his wish, at least for now.

It’s just a simple text from Zayn. “I’m almost there. See you in five.”

Harry had thought he will feel relieved when he’ll get the text back but what he feels now is total opposite of it. He is panicking and sweating, because in all his mulling over it all this morning he almost believed that Zayn wouldn’t come. _Wouldn’t want to, _but he is on his way and will be there in less than five fucking minutes. Harry feels as if he would pass out with lack of oxygen.

***

Harry didn’t realize that he was standing at the same spot until he heard his doorbell. It feels like everything is happening in a flash, he is lost in thought and doesn’t realize when he actually walked up to door and opened it. Doesn’t know how was he even able to function when he feels like he can’t breathe.

But Zayn is standing there at the other side of the door when he opens it, then their eyes meet after so long, _soft beautiful brown eyes._ They are so close. Harry feels like he is dreaming.

A dream sweet enough to leave you wondering if it was real the next time you wake up, to leave you keep wanting it. To keep dreaming and not wake up for it to fade away.

A dream so real that you beat yourself up to remember it the next morning if you forget. And it hurts, it fucking does.

But Harry keeps a tight grip on the doorknob and releases a breath he was holding without even being aware of it when he watches Zayn’s lips form into a sweet shy smile. Harry comes out of his stupor and tries to act normal and remembers to let him in. Still not fully believing what happened just now. But he is glad that Zayn is here.

Harry walks in after closing the door behind them. He turns around with a small smile of his own and looks over at Zayn as he wants to fully take in his appearance. But Zayn doesn’t give him that much time to do that before he starts walking over and kisses him.

Harry is shocked and surprised, he feels as if his brain cannot function with the speed things are happening. He tries to get a grip on the situation.

Harry’s breath whooshes out of him as he closes his eyes and feels Zayn’s lips on his own and then he kisses him back.

Harry’s been longing for Zayn’s lips, for Zayn, for _so_ long that he almost thinks he forgot how well they mould with his own. How soft and perfect Zayn’s lips and kisses are. But he didn’t, how could he when it felt so amazing and every time they kissed he felt alive. He can never forget it.

Then they are kissing with ardour as he feels Zayn pulling him closer with his hands on his back, walking them backwards to the wall. Harry feels as if his soul is being quenched after being parched all this time, his heart feels full.

They break the kiss and look in to each other’s eyes, searching, asking and answering all the same. Harry’s gaze shift on Zayn’s lips, his hands come up to stroke at his scruff as he smiles at him. Zayn is stroking at Harry’s side.

Zayn looks a bit surprised by his own actions but he couldn’t have gone any longer without touching Harry when he was _there_. Zayn takes in Harry’s look, he is amazed by just how good looking Harry is, and he looks a bit different, a little broader but as beautiful and charming as ever.

Zayn leans his forehead on Harry’s, then kisses the side of his face near his eyes, kisses down his jaw as he takes in the scent from the crook of his neck, the similar scent engulfs his senses. It’s overwhelming, his scent and the closeness of their bodies, heat from Harry’s body where they are touching evokes strong memories. It does something to Zayn.

The look Harry is giving him, the way he smells so sweet his breathing heavy.

Zayn is kissing Harry with sheer passion, Harry feels hot and breathless. Feels like he would faint with lack of breath, he thinks it’d be worth. And he wants to keep kissing back. Harry wants to crawl and crawl and gnaw all the way inside to Zayn’s core. To taste his heart. His _beautiful _soul.

He doesn’t. He slows them down a bit instead to make it last. Harry wants to feel it, keep going at it, make this moment his, _theirs. _The moment that he’s got after years. He’s been waiting and wanting to do this for far too long. They didn’t do this in a while, and he doesn’t know why but probably because they are both stubborn assholes he thinks. And he cannot let it go now, he doesn’t want to.

Harry wants to enjoy until the _need _takes over, the raw passion they always shared. He takes his time, when he feels Zayn doing the same, pulling at his clothes to keep him close, going on the same rhythm of softly nipping and sliding their tongues over each others, lips turning into a shade of sinful red and buzzing with each kiss. Sighing a little on each other’s lips, keeping together for a little while. Because it is _rare._

Harry holds Zayn’s face in his hands, cradling it in his palm. His painted nails strikingly compliment Zayn’s golden skin. He loves it. His fingers skimming softly under his eyes, over his cheekbones. _Oh how I’ve missed you._

Zayn reaches his hands to hold Harry’s sides, slowly trailing up to his neck, lightly pulling at his curls at the nape of his neck and his eyes roaming all over his face. He looks intently as Harry’s lips part and a gasp escapes from his lips as he hovers his thumb over them, touching and tugging his lower lip lightly.

Zayn leans in and kisses under Harry’s jaw, teeth grazing the long pale neck. And it feels like fire coursing through his veins when Harry pulls him tight against his body. When Harry is there standing in front of him looking like _that,_ rutting his thigh, he feels entrapped in an unbelievable moment, he can’t do anything but lean down and kiss at every exposed skin before he can stop himself as he pulls at his shirt.

Zayn has changed so much but doesn’t feel that much different at the same time. Harry can feel his heart racing. He reaches his hand out to feel Zayn’s heart doing the same as looks up to Zayn’s eyes.

They stop kissing when they run out of all air and are in desperate need of a breath, they separate but just enough that they can feel their harsh exhales and pants on their faces. They keep holding onto each other and Harry looks up to Zayn’s eyes, watching his too. _You’re so dreamy _he thinks touching his fingertips on Zayn’s bottom lips softly. He still can’t believe that it is real and he really is holding Zayn, that he can touch him, that Zayn just took his breath away again and his heart flutters at the thought.

It saddens Zayn as he notices that Harry is not wearing his rose ring. He knows Harry doesn’t wear it in public now but he’d thought that Harry might wear it at home. But he doesn’t show it or say anything for it might ruin the mood.

“Hi” Harry says softly, remembering they didn’t say a word since Zayn came in.

He smiles at the way his heart is beating and yet he feels relieved for some reason.

“Hey babe” Zayn replies just as softly and harry melts hearing that nickname and Zayn’s voice after so long.

Harry is losing his damn mind, he knows this might be wrong but it’s _Zayn_. And he wants him closer than this.

He looks at Zayn’s lips, that familiar smile and then he has to kiss Zayn again, to feel it all again, the familiarity of it, the safety they harbor.

“Zayn, kiss me.”

Zayn smiles brightly at him. “Yeah Haz” Zayn says nodding and leans in to capture Harry’s lips. Parting them and licking at the seam of his lips. He kisses him hard and deeper, tilting his head to side a little. He kisses him reverently. Biting and sucking at his lips, Harry feels his knee weaken by the intensity of it.

He taste the same, Harry thinks when their tongues touch, yet so new after so long; it makes Harry read Zayn like his favourite book, thoroughly, so hooked on it to even blink in between turning the pages, to find new memories. To _make_ new memories. To read it aloud just for himself to keep on dreaming as the story unfolds.

Harry hugs him so tight when they part, feeling the nerves from before settling a little bit until the stronger wave hits him. And he rests his head on Zayn’s shoulder as he hugs him back gently stroking over his sides. He wishes he wouldn’t show how anxious he was and that was the other reason apart from that he missed him that he needed him there.

It feels like reading your favourite book that you have read maybe hundreds of times before, that you have memorized every page, every detail. Like where the end meets, where the beauty lies, where it hurts the most in your heart, what makes you want to read it all over again. And what makes you want to almost forget it so you can re-learn it again, remember it again.

_‘Make love to me.’_

Because Zayn has read Harry too, way too thoroughly at that and he knows him like a back of his hand, knows what he is thinking. Zayn nods, kisses him once before saying, “wanna make love to you”. 

And then they kiss with new passion, a raw force. Harry is in awe watching Zayn’s face light up in anticipation. Because it’s rare now, they don’t see each other nowadays and are not around like they used to before, it is different. This thing between them doesn’t happen anytime they want now.

He pushes the thought them might be doing the same things they did in past, not wanting to clear what it is that they have. Because they were always ready to fight and fuck rather than sit and talk.

But he knows it too that they never were quite good with putting it into words, couldn’t comprehend how to explain and accept it all. But he needs this, to make him calm, because this time it’s different with all the work stuff, and it is proving hard for Harry to grasp it, and Zayn has always been the constant through the changes and he wants him to be this time too.

Harry nods and they kiss again, laughing into each other mouths and Harry happily tugs on Zayn’s hand as they make their way to his room.

And it is as sweet as it always was. Maybe sweeter for obvious reasons.

***

Harry sits on the bed as he checks his phone and sips on the water he brought from kitchen, as Zayn comes out of the bathroom. He asked him to stay and to Harry’s surprise he said yes.

So now Zayn yawns and awkwardly sits at the other side of the bed watching Harry chew on his lips and rubs it in his fingertips, like he used to do when he is stressed.

It feels weird that they can’t find anything to talk about or why they’re feeling so awkward given that they just had sex.

Zayn fumbles with the sheet near his knee, he feels he needs a smoke to calm his nerves. It really feels different now that the need for their bodies to be near and together is fulfilled. The familiarity of their bodies doing nothing for his heart to settle when they are two feet apart.

Harry hasn’t said a word. He didn’t even look at him once when he sat down there. And it makes Zayn wonder if he did something wrong, or if Harry thinks they made a mistake and he didn’t want to have sex. Or he took advantage of him and hurt him. If Harry didn’t like it and thinks it was horrible. Hus mind is going mile a minute. _Stop_ _it; you’re being paranoid. _

“Umm… Can I have a smoke?” He desperately needs it before more awful thoughts can cloud his mind.

Harry turns to look at him then noticing slight shake in his voice.

“Yeah.” He simply says. 

He watches Zayn walks up to the window at the other side of the room. Zayn opens it, feeling the fresh breeze pass over his face as he looks out at the city.

He lights up the cigarette before taking a long drag, he keeps it in for a few seconds and breathes out the smoke letting it curl out into air.

“Harry, did I do something wrong?” Zayn asks leaning behind at the window. It’s surprising for him that he is actually asking him unlike before. Well that’s a change.

“No Zayn.” Harry replies lowly, staring at his hands, twisting his ring on his finger.

“Did you not want to do it? Did you not like it?” 

Harry doesn’t understand why Zayn is asking this because it is not that and they both were into it. But when he looks up at Zayn, watch his face fall he could see that he was probably feeling sad. He shakes his head, he feels bad for him, because he didn’t ask him to come over to make him feel bad about himself or anything they did or didn’t do for that matter.

He is just stressed over new stuff with album and promotions. He knows it is not new but still new in a way. It is the new material, the new meaning behind his art and the new him is what freaking him out. He is anxious how it will be received with fans and critics.

Harry walks over at Zayn, “No Z, that’s not it. You know it can never be.” He strokes his cheek and kisses it sweetly.

He watches as relief washes Zayn’s face of his worry. It feels wrong to watch him feeling down.

“I… Umm…I liked it, you know I always do.” Harry says blushing, warmth wash over his face suddenly and he looks down at his feet like it’s something interesting to inspect.

“Hmm is that so?” Zayn asks quirking his eyebrow. Smirking when Harry looks at him with his mouth agape. He blinks slowly unable to reply something witty to that.

“I will…. I will be in the kitchen.” Harry says instead looking at the smoke curl out of Zayn’s lips bemused.

But he doesn’t make a move to go down immediately. His cheeks turn a lovely pink colour as he found himself staring at Zayn. The playful, dorky Zayn.

Zayn smiles at the way Harry is reacting. “We have to eat something so yeah… so yeah.” He gestures pointing outside the room an makes his way towards kitchen as his voice trails at the end. “Come down when you finish.”

***

Harry is doing something at the stove when Zayn makes his way to the kitchen after he finished his smoke and had a call from his mum, so he came down a bit later.

A Song playing in the background, but Harry is not singing along it or swaying like he likes to do. Zayn can feel Harry stressing over something, by the way he is acting. Beside all the blushing and throwing remarks at him, there is this uneasiness he can feel radiating.

“Haz?” He lets his presence known as he sees Harry is fumbling with a can. He makes his way towards him offering to help open it.

Harry passes the can to him, and continues on stirring the veggies in the pan. He is so out of it over all the thoughts running through his mind that he doesn’t realize how they are doing the normal things, just simple domestic things. He would have been so happy if he actually realized it.

It’s past lunchtime and Harry didn’t even felt anywhere near hungry but thought it as a distraction that he can use so he ended up really cooking for them.

“Harry…” Zayn’s voice breaks his reverie, “Take a deep breath yeah. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.” Zayn says rubbing his back soothingly.

Harry is thankful to him for not pushing him. But he knows he feel better if he talks about it to someone or Zayn. And it feels damn good that Zayn can sense it without Harry telling him.

“Yeah” he says and takes a deep breath, like Zayn said. “I’m fine Z, don’t worry.” He tries to put on a smile that he knows that Zayn can see how forced it is.

Zayn thinks about it for some time, nod a little as he says, “Okay we’re gonna eat and watch movies yeah and then you can tell me if you want.” 

Harry nods at that giving Zayn a small smile.

***

They actually ended up eating and watching movie marathon, enjoying their time.

Talking about their families a little, Zayn’s dogs and animals. What they’ve been up to. Some weird stuff fans sent them. Just casual conversation. 

Zayn feels surprisingly relaxed, and it doesn’t make him nervous like it used to before. He feels like he can _breathe_ here with Harry like this, like a normal person. _Maybe because there is no one now. _

And it feels good to see Harry relax too after a while, he doesn’t want to force him to tell him if he doesn’t want to. But he thinks it’ll make Harry feel better if he shared whatever it is bothering him.

Harry changes the CD with the one that was playing before as he does the dishes and checks his messages. He can feel the nerves coming back to him. And it will get messy as time passes he thinks.

But before he can think about it too much, he hears Zayn cackle loud, his laugh dying into giggles when Harry makes his way toward the living room. He doesn’t get what made Zayn laugh all of a sudden and comes over to see Zayn still doubled over with his hands on his knees, trying to control his breathing.

Zayn hears his own voice playing from the speaker, he didn’t expect it. He lost his shit and started laughing as he heard the first chords of the song.

And Harry is standing there watching in amusement, seeing Zayn laugh like this after so long, perfect evening light shining on his face, illuminating it. He feels dazed by the sight the sound. It’s beautiful and makes Harry smile too because he missed his laugh too.

It’s ‘I don’t want to live forever’ acoustic version playing, the one he made for Harry.

But behind all laughing he remembers Taylor for quite a second because they collaborated on the song and Zayn gets reminded of all the PR bullshit Harry and he went through back at time. But he wills himself to not think about it now, not to show it on his face or else Harry would catch up on it. He knows it hurts him. And honestly it doesn’t matter now (they both know it).

So he stands straight taking a long breath wiping at the corner of his eyes to rid them of tears from his laughing, _wow_ he didn’t laugh this much recently. 

“What? Why are you laughing so much?” Harry asks.

Zayn can’t help but admire how cute Harry looked all confused and his lips pouting slightly. He walks up to Harry and slides his hands at his waist.

“You’re asking me? Who’s the little shit that my song on. Of course I am going to laugh.” Zayn says smiling. “It’s cheesy.”

Harry didn’t pay attention to what song he put on but then actually realizes what song is playing and just smiles up at Zayn, a slow curl of his lips showing the dimple appear on his cheek.

“It’s one of my favorites.” But then again all of Zayn’s songs are his favourite.

Then he is pulling Zayn by his hands towards middle of the room. He kisses Zayn softly and starts to sway them together.

“I wanted to dance to this song with you since the first time I heard it.” He doesn’t dare to add ‘on my birthday’ part.

“It sounds beautiful.” he tells Zayn sincerely.

Zayn can’t find words to say, It really unimaginable really. It feels good to know that Harry likes his songs and listens to it.

“You know I can’t dance, babe. I’ll step on your foot.” He says hesitatingly.

Harry makes disapproving noise and ignore Zayn’s pleas to stop. Harry makes them slowly move side to side. He is guiding them, smiling as Zayn is managing pretty well.

“See it’s easy. Just keep doing this… Just copy me, yeah?”

Zayn does just that, and he feels pretty ok having Harry in his arms like this, guiding him through it. He can’t believe but it feels incredible. A rare moment in their life.

They dance for a while listening to his voice, looking at each other’s eyes. And Zayn almost doesn’t want to break their silence and the conversation they seem to have through their eyes. They never did this before ever so he is tempted to ask Harry.

“Why babe? I mean…” He can’t form a word, finding it difficult to say exactly what he is feeling. Scared of what Harry will say. Is it like a goodbye, or maybe he is letting it go. Whatever it is between them. He panics for a bit thinking over the possibilities.

“Because we’ve never had this. We were always in a rush.” He also wants to add that he doesn’t know if he can ever have this again, but he doesn’t, he will keep it to himself, because it’s easier.

He takes a deep breath. “But I want to have you like this. This time.” He says looking deep in Zayn’s eyes, committing this moment to memory.

“Because you feel like home, Zayn.”

Zayn is looking at Harry wide eyed, it is kind of revelation on Harry’s part. Zayn feels his mouth go dry at that. He always knew what Harry wanted, he was pretty clear about it.

Harry feels Zayn go silent and stiffen a bit so he tries his best to smile knowing he won’t get reply from him, but it is okay. He will not think about it right now. So Harry smiles at Zayn to ease the situation and watches as Zayn takes a breath. He kisses him softly on the mouth.

They have their little dance until the next song hits. Looks like Harry has put on his special playlist of Zayn’s songs. And Zayn can’t quite keep it together as he bursts out laughing.

Zayn just laughs along shaking his head at the situation, at just how cliché it all is.

Then the song on the playlist transition to fingers. Zayn knows what Harry must be thinking. _Fuck._

They look at each other, Harry’s face so open, vulnerable, and genuine, showing all his emotions painting across his face. He is not holding anything back now.

Zayn remembers the day he recorded fingers, he wrote it for him. How desperately he wanted Harry to know that he is his no matter what, to make sure Harry knew what he meant to him. That how much he valued him.

He vaguely thinks how it fits perfectly right now. Both of them needing it and willing to give in and take whatever it will lead to.

Harry comes closer, slightly tilts his face up towards Zayn letting him know it’s okay and he’ll be crazy to deny him it, he is not able to at this moment. The need seeping through his voice and music from the track, knowing Harry wants him too, it feels too emotional and pure when he presses his lips to Harry’s.

It feels like fire burning through him. He feels closer to Harry in every way possible.

Everything he feels and wanted to say is clear in the song and everything Harry understood and wanted was clearly written on his face, in his honest eyes. 

He licks Harry’s lips asking for more, and Harry opens his mouth pulling Zayn closer than before in answer.

It feels so right, them being in each other’s arms, in their space, without anyone knowing it. It’s just for them, years spent apart only making their feelings solid and fond.

Zayn backed them up against the wall near window. Harry’s back hitting the wall as Zayn kisses him deeper. His breathing labored with the force they kissed. The kisses making small specks of colours burst behind his eyes.

It was all teeth and tongue as they started kissing passionately, heat growing between them and they were already hard with need.

Zayn thrusted at Harry’s hip as he licked and sucked on his lips. They started to rut against each other, moaning at the friction. The feel of each other’s body and the fact they were going to do this when his song was playing was really arousing.

They started to take each other’s clothes off. Zayn kissed Harry’s neck and bit the skin near his collarbone making a bruise appear, making Harry groan at the sensation, soothing it afterwards with licking at it tenderly.

“Zayn” Harry started, taking Zayn’s shirt off, kissing him hard. Tasting every new addition to his tattoos on his body.

Zayn started to unbutton Harry’s shirt kissing down his chest, tracing every tattoo down his torso, he jerked him off, teasing him with slow strokes when he took and threw his pants away. Making Harry moan with pleasure. “Harry…” Zayn hiss when Harry bit him remembering

Harry makes Zayn stop jerking him taking his hand away, kissing him as he flips them to have Zayn leaning on the wall. He starts kissing down his neck, palming Zayn through his pants.

He then fumbles to rid Zayn off his pants. He starts to get down on his knees in front of Zayn.

“Harry, stop… Stop.”

“Want to suck you.” Harry states simply, kissing and licking across Zayn’s hip. He licks a line at the underside of his dick. Teasing him with curling his tongue around at his head. Zayn bites his lip in pleasure.

Harry the takes him in his mouth slowly enveloping him as he goes down. His hands tightly gripping at Zayn’s hips. He strats to suck moving his head upwards, lightly applying pressure. Zayn takes in a shaky breath as Harry licks at the slit.

He teases him moving his mouth up and down swirling his tongue around his tip looking at Zayn watching him staring down at him with heavy eyes. As Zayn grunts louder and thrust his hip he goes to suck faster hollowing his cheeks. It makes Zayn’s thighs shake as he feels himself closer.

“Baby I’m - ” Zayn moans.

“Hmm.” Harry hums teasing Zayn, tasting him, knowing he is close. 

“Haz, stop.” Zayn says through his teeth, jaw tensed around words. “Don’t.” Zayn says in between groans. “Want to come with you.”

Harry pulls off of Zayn at that. His own eyes heavy with arousal, his hard on aching to be touched. Mouth all red and shiny lips, a string of saliva breaks as he wipes it off his mouth before standing to his height.

Zayn looks at him mesmerized, his Harry. So beautiful and looking pure and erotic at the same time that Zayn can never be able to understand.

Harry moans as Zayn takes him by surprise as he starts to kiss him hard, walking them toward couch. It’s fast and hurried. Sucking at his lips, tasting himself as he licks into his mouth. Soft tongues touching and Zayn sucks Harry’s tongue hard, making Harry shiver at sheer pleasure.

Zayn laid Harry on his back kissing his jaw, his neck, trying to find all the sweet spots he know by heart. All the places that leaves Harry breathless, writhing in his arms.

Zayn starts to kiss down his torso, trailing a blazing path with his mouth and tongue. Exploring all the planes he did once before. It all feels so surreal and like it all happened a lifetime ago.

Zayn thinks if he’s still good, if Harry is enjoying but all his worry goes away when he nips and soothes the skin of his hips decorated with laurels and Harry moans sinking his head into pillow. Zayn smirks and kind of feels accomplished.

“Slow” Harry breathes above him, his hands finding Zayn’s on his hips. 

Zayn nods, he leans down and captures Harry’s lips once and grinds slowly, leaving Harry to grind up to his hips wanting more as his breath hitch in his throat as their hard on rubs together. Harry feels hot from anticipation of doing this again and Zayn’s voice crooning through speaker softly. It literally feels like he is on fire.

“Still slow, yeah?” Zayn asks lacing their fingers. When he sees Harry nod his head he brings his fingertips up to his lips. It is so Harry thing to do; he thinks looking at Harry’s baby blue, black and pink nails. He is shaking his head smiling in awe, Harry blushes and it makes him smile too.

Zayn closes his eyes as he starts kissing every fingertip one by one slowly, feeling the beat of the song, and the overwhelming emotions that he feels, the words he wanted to say, now coming through his song. Feeling so loved by him, the thought that he trusts him. It’s immeasurable.

He slips Harry’s finger out of his mouth after sucking it slowly watching Harry’s eyes fill with lust and arousal, his breathing heavy. He then leans back to spread Harry’s legs making space for himself in between his thighs and wraps them around his hips.

Their crotches touch when Zayn leans down to kiss Harry again, he grinds their hips in circles. He gets rough a little, as the desire keeps building, to take him and make his again.

Zayn kisses his cheeks, under his jaw, he kisses his neck feeling content when he hears Harry moan, the sweet sound escaping from his lips. When he looks at Harry he looks beautiful, vulnerable and waiting, so much emotion in his eyes shining bright green. Zayn has to close his eyes to take it all in.

“You okay?”

“Yeah I’m okay, just…” Harry hesitates to say.

“What babe… just tell me, please?”

“I’m good, really…I’m just… just mesmerized I guess… I didn’t think you will come.” Harry says honestly. “I’m happy that you did.”

Zayn just smiles at him, “me too.”

And then they are kissing again. Zayn kisses him in all the right places, and Harry starts bucking his hips upward, letting Zayn know to get on it for real. His hands touching all over Zayn’s chest and abs, feeling his muscles shift under his palm.

Harry shivers when Zayn takes his thighs spreading them and then he is lowering his head down towards his dick, and he is reminded then how hard he is and that he needed attention there, his hips thrust up on their own, feeling Zayn staring at him and his breathing hitting at his tip. A silent gasp leaves his mouth at the first touch of Zayn’s lips.

Zayn has Harry ready for him by the time he is done preparing him with his fingers and in need to be filled. He pushes forward kissing Harry on the mouth when he does. Harry breathes into Zayn’s mouth.

They make love, Zayn thrusting in long strokes and pulling out almost all the way before he rocks forward into Harry. Their breath becomes labored and erratic as they reach their high. Zayn buries his head in the crook of Harry’s neck, licking and biting.

Muffling his grunts as he buries himself deeper inside Harry grinding as he thrust in hitting his spot at every stroke, leaving harry moan evreytime he hits it.

All the things he is feeling full in heart, his hands twitch and he grabs at Zayn, the tension building in the room between them, inside him; his body wanting more and he is so on the edge. His heart longing and yearning for more.

_I could come and love you…_

“Zayn, I’m close.” Harry says gripping Zayn’s back tight and his short nails digging in his skin.

“Me too Haz, me too.” Zayn thrusts in relentless rhythm, as he feels Harrys thighs shake in pleasure. His dick twitches when Harry clenches around him.

Zayn teases Harry’s nipples then, licking his neck. He hears him take shaky breath as he continues to thrust into him.

_I know it’s taking all your strength…_

He pinches and rubs his nipple again hearing Harry whisper his name in broken moans and he comes throwing his head back into couch, his back arching beautifully.

He clenches hard around Zayn as he comes, his eyes closed tight, his face sweaty and panting, as he comes down.

Zayn’s hips stutter and lose rhythm and after few more thrust he is coming, grunting in Harry’s ear. Harry’s name on his lips as he holds him close.

They lay there panting, trying to control their breathing after they come down their high. Songs playing softly in the background, Zayn kisses at side of Harry’s face before he pulls out.

***

They lay together afterwards for a long time listening to songs after they got cleaned.

It feels natural like no time ever passed in between these years. But it’s not true it definitely did and even if they won’t say it out loud, the things were pretty rough back then and even if Zayn and Harry chose whatever happened they can’t deny that it was heartbreaking and that they regret it.

“What are you thinking?” Zayn asks sensing the silence stretched over and how Harry seems to be out of it.

Harry takes in a deep breath.

“Nothing much… just stuff.” Harry says not feeling like explaining why he is nervous all over again as he is getting closer for promotion, wanting to just sleep it off. And just when he wishes his mind to be silent his phone starts going off repeatedly.

It is like someone has got no chill and his phone is going off so much like the world is ending.

“Bloody hell.” Harry grumbles not wanting to look at his phone, because he knows what is happening. 

“Are you not going to check what it is?” Zayn asks confused at the way Harry was behaving.

Harry shrugs. “No, it is ok. It is just my twitter.” He says trying to sound calm and unbothered.

But Zayn is not buying it, he can clearly see something is going on which is bothering Harry, and he actually sensed it before but didn’t ask him thinking he was maybe nervous about them meeting.

But Zayn being the one not to back down, insists that Harry tells anyways when he waited for him to share it himself. He thinks the nervousness doesn’t suit Harry. He never liked it.

“We both know that something is up and that it’s not nothing. So just tell me why you’re acting like this.” Zayn asks him sincerely.

Harry is panicking now chewing at his bottom lip. He knows it might just be stupid but it is really big, at least for him. It’s a big step. People and fans may think he is confident and all, and nothing can get him fazed. But this time it literally has hit him. Because it is a big thing, the biggest step he has taken till now, to let go and put himself out there for the world to see him. Real him. Let them judge and obscure and rip at his parts for their sake.

It is overwhelming and a little scary if he is being honest. And it is hard for Harry to wrap his head around the fact that it is time now and it is happening.

“Harry, babe?” Zayn let Harry out of his thoughts with his gentle and caring voice. “Is it about the album?”

Harry’s eyes goes wide at that._ How the fuck do you know that._

“Umm… I… I- ” Harry feels his mouth go dry at the response. It is not that he doesn’t want to tell him, but he just feel unable form a coherent thought how to tell Zayn exactly what is about to come. He looks at Zayn to see he is waiting for his answer.

“Yes, it is about the album.” Harry says finally nearly in a whisper, feeling low.

“Okay, that’s good right?” Zayn asks smiling softly. “It is fine; you have done it before Haz. You have gone through this. I don’t get why are do you feel this nervous, you were never like this. You are a pro.” Zayn tries to make Harry relax.

Harry takes deep breath. “Yeah, I know Zayn, but this time it is different.” He is not sure how much he wants Zayn to know. “Trust me it really is.”

“Don’t worry, the fans and all the god damn world loves you. They adore you. You will be fine.”

Harry’s face feel warm at Zayn’s words.

“Is that why you actually wanted me to come?” Zayn asks realizing the situation now.

At that Harry thinks Zayn will hate him, if not now then he will after the single releases. Harry knows the impact it will leave at their lives. He feels a bit wrong for putting it all out there without letting Zayn know about it before. Zayn thinks it will be a normal song but here Harry is accepting and standing strong about his true self, but he is not sure how it would make Zayn feel about the whole thing. If it will jeopardize his image, and if Zayn thinks it does, then Harry would feel responsible. And that shit would really hurt. That’s why he is so nervous about it all.

He knows that he is going to give people to talk about it, chew it and spit it out twisting it with their lies and assumptions. But what he truly wants is to be able to do this by his way, and to an extent he feels comfortable and happy in doing so. At least for now. And he just wants people to understand, that he is a human too.

Zayn looks long at Harry and he feels bad at how miserable Harry is looking, like a puppy lost in the downpour. It breaks his heart to see Harry like this. He knows and he has always known that he deserves better. The best.

So Zayn pulls Harry close keeping a tight hold around him,“come here.” And he kisses top of his head.

“Just talk to me alright, why are you so nervous?” Zayn rubs at his shoulder. “What are you thinking?”

Harry really wants to tell Zayn. And now that he knows the promotion has started and soon the single will be released, he wants Zayn to know. He takes few deep breaths. He feels Zayn rubbing his shoulder comfortingly and he starts to feel a bit at ease.

“It is just that the single is going to be released, the team has started the promotion. They put the signed posters all over different countries. And once the posters were to be found the team planned to just hint more at it. Tease the audience until the release.” Harry tells him, everything coming out in a rush.

“So what is so bad about it?”

“Umm… Like… Umm at first we decided to release it on 5th or 6th, but now it’s gonna be out on Friday this week.” Harry says in a hushed voice not daring to look directly at Zayn.

“And now by the way my phone is blowing off, I guess they found the poster and I’ll have to reply now. And I don’t feel like I want to know what they are saying about all this.”

Zayn chuckles and pushes Harry back onto bed making him lay on his back, “Is that all?” he asks not getting exactly what Harry was hinting at and hovering over him.

Harry feels breathless for reason other than Zayn laying over his body so close to him. He shakes his head mentally at Zayn for not understanding what he was trying to say.

So Harry tries to get up making Zayn sit back at bed so Harry can move.

Harry gets up and goes to living room to get his laptop. “Wait here, I will come back in a minute, need to show you something.” Harry says before walking out of the room.

As Zayn waits for Harry he tries to connect the dots of what Harry told him. He thinks he got a faint idea, but he doesn’t want to jump to any assumptions and tries hard to ignore the thought that is peeking out at his mind at the top of everything.

He gets out of his head when he hears Harry padding into the room, laptop in hand and cursing on his way in probably for tripping over his own feet. And it makes a small smile appear on Zayn’s lips.

Harry gets on the bed setting down laptop in front of Zayn opening up the folder searching for something that Zayn doesn’t know what.

“Just… umm… watch this okay” Harry asks timidly.

Zayn nods and fix his eyes at the screen. And there his baby appears shirtless looking all hot and sexy. And the first chord plays in the background.

So Harry is showing Zayn his first music video for his next single, with Harry surrounded by girls and boys all over his shirtless naked body, moving their hands all over him. And there it is, one frame in particular hits him, and his eyes go comically wide at the screen, the scene is showing a guy standing behind Harry and Harry resting his head on his shoulder arching his back.

And _that_ guy is holding Harry, his face is in his neck. The _guy_ Harry is leaning and writhing against has dark hair, a dark stubble and he looks undoubtedly 100% alike Zayn.

Zayn feels hot and sweating and shocked all at the same time. He finds it hard to breath.

His mouth goes dry as he watches the video. The beat of the song is sexy, the video is arousing in a way, sweaty and wet Harry is there dancing, and he looks hot, no one can deny that, definitely not Zayn out of all the people. And the imagery of debauched and needy Harry writhing against a _guy_ looking like ZAYN has left Zayn feeling a growing problem down there. And a bigger problem what fans would make of it.

And now he can see why Harry was so nervous and anxious about it. He can’t help but hear the vibe of the song sounding similar to his sound. He now knows Harry has _too_ _much_ to be nervous about. He can already imagine people’s reaction on the video and media going crazy over the blatant referencing of him in the song. He feels his mind go dizzy with thought, he opens his mouth but to left open not being able to form words.

Zayn can sense Harry’s eyes on him, gauging at his reaction, he tries to calm down that it is only a video and that there nothing to be bothered about. But as Zayn watches the song further he sees his look alike _guy_ again with Harry, holding him against himself.

And Zayn feels jealous, can feel himself growing hot, his face going red. He knows it’s not right but he is seeing red. Zayn’s hands twitches to grab a part of Harry, can’t stand the chemistry he can see between harry and that co-actor on screen.

He tries a glance at Harry and he sees him blushing, face all gone red and eyes showing the hints of arousal. And he is sure his aren’t any different.

It’s the first time Harry has done video like this, too personal and intimate. All the scenes on the video, the literal blue and pink marks Zayn can see on his body as he is looking at him, images of Harry almost surrendering himself to the _guy_ who looks too much like Zayn combining with the things they did twice just few hours before is not helping the situation even remotely.

Zayn knows that Harry showed him video out of concern and it is not the time to get hard but with Harry literally there sitting in front of him and the fact that he is being open and so vulnerable and looking like the way he does when he is with Zayn; when they are together, the bond connecting their bodies, it is hard not to.

The message and the significance of the video is too much, too much for Zayn to handle right now.

And getting what Harry was implying, the fact that whatever they share in private is not for the fans and public to know but now it is going to be out there right in front of their eyes. Their thing, their intimacy on screen for people to see and talk about is hard to fathom.

It is fucked up but Zayn can feel the power Harry is exhibiting, the braveness, the courage he is putting out there and his choice about what is his, even without talking.

And suddenly there is this urge to touch Harry. To feel him against him. To let Harry know that he valued whatever they had just as much as him. To give Harry what he was searching for. And from the “images” replaying in his mind from the video, he has to let Harry know just that. 

It is Him and no one else. To let him know that it’s ok if Harry has chosen it to show, even if Zayn is not able to do right now what Harry is finally able to do. But he can give him this, his support no matter what, being here right now. Harry is not a thing to claim, but he has to do it anyway or he feels he will explode.

He wants to praise him and read him like a sacred prayer, and make him his in that moment, Make it hurt where it feels good. 

And Harry knows what Zayn is feeling when he sees him leaning over, he can feel himself getting hard and the determined expression and those hazy eyes of Zayn are not helping the situation. Shooting those scenes were one thing, that too with “the Guy”, but having his muse right in front of him; watching him lose it over his look alike; he missed it, he missed this Zayn.

It is making his insides burst in anticipation.

Harry remembers himself being shocked at first looking at the guy in the crowd of models there were for the shoot. And the way Zayn looks right now he can’t decide if he is angry or just aroused too like him or both because the heady need and the arousal is clouding his mind and decisions.

And from the look on Zayn’s face he knows what is coming.

“Zayn look… I’m sorry…” Harry starts when Zayn pushes him down onto bed, “I didn’t - ” and he doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Zayn crashes their lips hard in a kiss.

“Z Zayn… listen - ” Harry tries to calm him down once again when he breaks the kiss for a hot second, but it’s like something has gotten into Zayn. It’s not like Harry doesn’t want this but he just want Zayn to listen to him genuinely and know if it is ok with him, to make sure that he is not really mad at him.

“Haz, later” Zayn says sternly in between kisses. “Let me have you now, want to feel you, yeah.”

And he is again capturing Harry’s lips in firm passionate kiss. He drags his tongue on Harry’s lips teasingly until he opens his mouth for Zayn. Harry lets out a small whimper at the way Zayn is licking into his mouth, the slide of their tongues wet and sinful. Harry is reminded how he used to think that Zayn had a wicked mouth, and he still does.

Harry let himself be lost in the feelings, to just focus on how Zayn is making him feel, tearing him apart, leaving him weak and putting him back together again. And he absolutely loves it, loves to be pliant and get what he wants anyway, be what Zayn wants him to be, for Zayn to mould and build them that they can’t tell themselves apart. Make them whole and one.

Harry basks in the pleasure of having Zayn like this, like old times. He can’t help the sound escape his lips when Zayn nips under his jaw up to the side of neck where his shoulder and neck meets. He feels Zayn then grind hard as he drags his tongue across his collarbone over one of the swallows. His beard rubbing around his neck deliciously and he buck his hips up, Harrys’s hands running all over Zayn’s back, and Zayn’s fingers tousling his hear.

Harry moans as Zayn bites at his ear and whispers, “I’m gonna take my time with you,” he licks his earlobe “…you will like it.”

Harry smiles as Zayn then starts to remove his clothes, kissing down his body.

They kiss with passion, Harry moans when Zayn bites at his bottom lip hard, his fingers caressing Zayn’s back. When they part they are breathing heavy into each other’s mouth, panting, hardly getting enough of each other.

Zayn leans back and swipe his finger on Harry’s bottom lip as he does. “You look so beautiful babe.” And he then leans down and traces it with the tip of his tongue, wetting it in its wake, and he smirks down at Harry at the sound escaped from him.

“What?” Harry hiss as Zayn takes his hand and pin them above his head, rutting against him. “Z, stop teasing.” Harry demands with his ragged breath hitting Zayn’s face.

“Told you, you’d like it.” Zayn says watching Harry thrash under him. Zayn is liking it too, to be honest. He knows what Harry likes and what he wants, and he will give him just that.

Harry rolls his eyes at that and smiling he leans up to kiss Zayn to shut him up. They lick into each other mouths, kisses turning desperate. Zayn trails his right hand down and rubs his thumb on Harry’s nipple. Zayn rolls it in his fingertips slow and teasingly when he licks under Harry’s jaw and side of his neck. And Harry gasps loudly his body unable to move as Zayn holds him down, he thrust his hip up to no avail.

Harry is panting heavily, moaning everytime Zayn rubs his nipple and grind against him. He feels hot, their body so close it feels practically joined together, their skin sweaty and their scents mixing in the air. Musky, earthy, a hint of cologne in the mix.

Harry never understood how can Zayn smell so good. And he turns his head slightly in the crook of Zayn’s neck to inhale it.

As he does it, all the memories of them flashes through his mind, all the good and the bad and the best and the worst, every touch; curious and shy and then claiming and giving. The loving. He tries to push it away and focus at right now but he remembers all of it like it happened yesterday. And he cherishes it.

But this, right now it feels different. Not too much but he wasn’t able to feel it for years, but now it hits him and it shakes him up to the core. Before today he was too caught up to realize but now that he is aware of it. It feels heavenly. _Ethereal._

Suddenly the tears appear in his eyes even in this heated moment as he closes them tight and as the realization hits him. The fact that they are having sex did it last night too for the first time in years while Zayn is not seeing anyone or isn’t in a relationship. _Zayn is single._

And there is a wave of happiness surging through Harry, joy overtaking on all his being because Zayn is his. Truly only his right here at this moment. 

It is just like how they started. _Zayn_ _and_ _Harry_.

It just like before, years before when they first started messing around with each other, before all the pretty blondes came along and he had to share.

He felt it before when they used to do it and knew that Zayn was his in those short moments they shared, when they were like this, but the feeling of having to share him and not being each other’s completely for that matter were always present. And it always left an ache in his heart.

The thought of having Zayn like this leaves him lightheaded having. He forever wants to remember this.

Harry lost in all his feelings does not realize when Zayn has moved his hand to curl around his dick and he is stroking him slowly. He is brought back from where he was lost when Zayn swipes his thumb over his slit.

With his brows furrowed in pleasure Harry opens his eyes to see Zayn watching him with a worry in his eyes. Harry then smile brightly as a reassurance and reaches up to crush their mouth in a heated kiss, he is buzzing with happiness. Hopes that Zayn can feel it too.

Zayn breaks the kiss and looks questioningly deep in Harry’s eyes, Zayn doesn’t seem to get it at first but it hits him too, he gets what exactly Harry is thinking. He always gets it.

He understands how Harry must be feeling and he is happy too. So he leans down and kisses Harry on his forehead, on the tip of his nose next, all pretense of roughness mellowing in that gesture.

Harry smile sweetly up at him, dimples and all on display, back arching as Zayn jerks him off. He leans down and bites at his neck.

“You are gonna get it hard Styles”. And then Zayn twists his wrist on an upward stroke, making Harry mewl loud.

“Yeah, well you said I’ll like it.” Harry says throwing his head back in ecstasy. “Go on then Malik, let’s see what you got” he says trying to regain his breathing. With a smirk on his blood red lips.

At that Zayn tighten his grip around Harry making him shiver. “You little shit. On your stomach.” Zayn shuffles back in haste until there is enough space so he can flip Harry on bed.

Harry smiles to himself knowing it hasn’t changed how easy it is to rile Zayn up. He is already liking the way it’s going.

Zayn then starts pressing hard kisses on Harry’s shoulder, Licking and biting at the marks he left there before. “You look so sexy in that video Haz.” Zayn whispers in between kisses. “God, you are so fucking beautiful.”

Harry preens at that, he wiggles his hips on the bed to get friction and against Zayn’s hard on pressing at it, but Zayn moans and stops him with a tight grip on his waist. Harry whines he is close and wants to just rub against something to relieve the pressure.

Harry whimpers when Zayn licks slowly at the small of his back at the base of his spine. He feels Zayn kissing his back up to his neck all the while grinding his hard on in Harry’s hips keeping him down with a tight grip on his hips.

“Come on, Z… fuck… Please baby.” Harry starts, trying to buck his hips back.

Zayn sits back on his haunches, spreads Harry’s legs wide and lifts his hips up. Harry’s breath caches in his throat when he feels Zayn’s breath at his entrance. And when Zayn teases a swipe of his tongue at his entrance Harry’s hips stutters in response and his breathing quickens.

“Stay still.” Zayn says and spread Harry’s hole wide with his fingers so he can properly lick at it. He teases him with the tip of his tongue, alternating between kissing and licking him.

Harry feels hot all over, sweating and ready to burst at the tightening feeling in his stomach. “Zayn… ” he can’t even form proper words to tell him that he wants to come and thrust his hips back on Zayn’s mouth. He is so close.

“I said stay still.” Zayn replies warningly. He tries to ignore the sounds Harry is making and how bad he wants to be inside Harry himself. He keep pusheing his tongue in and out making Harry whine. 

“Z… touch me…” Harry rasps lowly. Zayn leans back then after a final lick and a bite to Harry’s inner thigh before he reaches for the lube.

“Not yet.” Zayn takes a long look at Harry, his head on a pillow, skin and hair all sweaty, his long beautiful back bowed and the way he is watching Zayn over his shoulder. It all look like a dream, Harry is a dream. To be more specific he looks like a literal wet dream.

Zayn unconsciously strokes himself looking at Harry, relieving some pressure. Gasping a little when his fingers graze the head. Zayn feels lost in a trance, and seeing Harry like this suddenly makes him a bit jealous at the thought that someone would have seen Harry like this other than him.

The thought makes Zayn’s head spin. “Gonna make you come so hard, gonna fuck you good.” Zayn growls, spreading lube on his fingers in a hurry. He rubs his finger at Harry’s entrance, Harry shudders at the contact of the cold lube. Zayn then starts pushing his finger inside and he holds his breath at the way he feels Harry tighten around it.

Harry is reduced to muttering nonsense by the time Zayn has got three fingers inside Harry, thrusting and stretching him. Slightly grazing the soft spot inside at every other time he thrusts his finger in. Harry is whimpering as Zayn kisses his back and keeps teasing him. He rocks his hips down at Zayn’s fingers at the sensation of coiling heat in his stomach.

Harry looks wrecked when Zayn looks down at him, his face red, his ass up in the air, back arched, fingers twisting in sheets at his head, panting and rocking a little. Moaning for Zayn to get on it as he feels heat coiling up in his belly, anticipating his high and the sweet release.

He is been on the edge for so long that it feels like years, he is so hard he feels he might pass out if won’t come, his dick leaking pre-come.

“Z… please… want you.” Harry nearly wails. Zayn takes his fingers out hearing his broken voice rough and small and not wanting Harry to hurt.

“Yeah”, Zayn kisses corner of his mouth. “Want you too.”

Zayn lubes himself before pushing inside Harry. They both sigh in relief, when Zayn is fully inside Harry, at the way they can feel the other. Skin to skin deep.

Zayn leans down kissing Harry’s back, little kisses, the touch of his lips moving upwards till he reaches the nape of Harry’s neck. He noses at the hair and the scent there in the crook of his neck as he struggles to keep still until Harry is ready.

Zayn slightly rocks his hips, a little push that makes Harry gasp. Harry then pushes pack at him feeling ready, Zayn murmurs ‘mine’ in barely audible whisper as he rocks his hips a little before he is hauling Harry up on his knees. Harry makes sound somewhere in back of his throat, a choked up sound as the new position makes Zayn slide deeper inside him.

Zayn exhales a harsh breath out at the feel of sliding even deeper as they moved. He was barely able to control to not move after being inside Harry, he had been so hard and was squeezing tight at Harry’s waist as he was waiting, sweat forming on his skin. 

Harry has his hands on a headboard as he pushes his hips back to let Zayn know to move. That little move had Zayn practically crying for how good it felt.

Zayn started to rock his hips in hard thrusts, that made Harry mewl but he was burying his head in his bicep, biting at it to keep his voice low.

“Don’t. Want to hear you.” Zayn said rocking forward, sweat dripping down from side of his neck. “Come on, babe. Let me hear you.”

It was a lot for Harry. The way Zayn had managed to get him up to a high again and again and not letting him finish for so long, the way Zayn’s voice was sounding, needy and demanding. He could feel Zayn so close it was maddening. But he somehow took his face away from his hand.

Zayn made a pleased sound at that and kept up the rhythm of pushing himself in a hard but deep thrusts before pulling out slow. Making Harry feel his length going in and out of him.

The move practically leaving Harry melting in the hot heat, boneless. Zayn was hitting his spot exactly at every thrust. Making Harry fuck himself back on Zayn.

“You know what they say?” Zayn asks with strained voice. Harry throws his head back on Zayn’s shoulder when Zayn slowed their movement to only grinding into him.

“Who?”

“The fans. Online.” Zayn says panting in Harry’s ear, his stubble grazing his skin. “They say you are my baby, you know that?” Zayn grinds his hips slowly when he pushed inside hard.

Harry’s mouth opens as a silent moan escapes his lips. Pillowy lips all red and bitten and shiny.

Harry tries to gulp as his mouth feels dry when he feels Zayn’s lips at shell of his ear “Yeah, you _are_ my baby.” Harry’s hips jerk at the response, eyes going cross as he closes them tight.

Harry is trembling as Zayn starts to move faster, rocking them together. Harry nearly sobs at how good it feels, suspended on the edge where it hurts but feels so fucking good. He almost doesn’t want it to end yet he wants to reach higher so he could crash just as hard and feel the euphoria.

Harry squeezes around Zayn that makes him tightens his hold around Harry, fingers digging in his flesh. He hopes it will bruise and remind Harry to relive this moment again. “Fuck, you feel so amazing, Haz.” Zayn growls as he starts thrusting harder, his chest pressed so close to Harry’s back that it feels it’s stuck with all the sweat on their skin.

Voice of their loud panting, moaning, labored breathing and wet sounds from kissing are the only sounds piercing through the otherwise silent room.

Suddenly Zayn seems to lose control and he is going so rough, he bites at Harry’s shoulder chanting “Mine. Mine” lowly. He knows it’s not right of him to do it but he can’t shake the images from the song away. Of Harry and that guy.

It’s childish and even if they never were quite together exclusively, besides Harry never did it with anyone else and Zayn other than Harry. It always came back to them. _You and I. _

_“_You’re so good babe._” _Zayn moan into Harry’s neck, cupping his jaw, cool metal of his rings contrasting with his hot face.

As he starts fucking into Harry, hard snapping of his hips like he is making way for new memories, leaves them barely able to breathe. And Harry gets it then.

He turns his head to side, barely able to keep open his eyes to look at Zayn. Zayn’s eyes are closed in pleasure and puffs of air from his mouth hitting at his lips, he opens his lips to take it in, and he captures Zayn lips in a tender kiss after. The touch of their soft tongues have Zayn rocking in a perfect pace again.

“Slower… Yeah just like that.” Harry goads Zayn, nips at his lower lip, “feel so good”. Harry really feels amazing and it’s so good, it is their moment and he doesn’t want anything to ruin it.

“You’re the one, baby.” He says in Zayn’s ear, in a soft, silky whisper. “You’re the only one.”

Zayn moans squeezing his eyes shut tight when Harry kisses and licks at his lobe over the cool hoop in his ear. He rocks and grinds his hips just like Harry wants. Long, hard thrusts to hit that spot perfectly inside him. Shallow grinds to tease him in anticipation of his release.

And Zayn’s dick twitches as Harry starts clenching and uncleching around him unexpectedly. Kissing and panting in each other’s mouth, hard to keep kissing as they reach their high.

“Z… ugh…” Harry can barely form words as Zayn re-positions harry’s leg on crook of his elbow and the angle makes his back arch, elongating his neck and making him shiver, goose bumps appear on his body. His thighs shakes with the effort as he tries to hold off.

“I’m - I’m close.” Harry finally lets out. His dick twitching and leaking pre-come and he wants to be touched so badly. “Touch me Z.” He reaches behind himself to throw his arm behind Zayn’s neck to hold on to him.

“Yeah babe, me too.” Zayn pants, his thurts going erratic. “Together, come together, babe.” He kisses Harry’s neck and licks a long stripe up to his jaw. Harry mewls a long whine when Zayn curls his hand around Harry’s hard on, jerking him off the same time as he thrust in.

Harry keeps spilling Zayn’s name, he tilts his head to looks at Zayn, his face contorted in concentration, grunting loud, Harry can see outline of the head tattoos peeking from his shaved hair forming blurred lines behind his eyes as he reaches his high and his eyes roll back, “Zayn” Harry warns “I’m close, so close, please.”

“Me too babe, come now.” Zayn says grunting and thrusting inside Harry impossibly fast, he swipes his thumb on Harry’s slit, squeezing at his head.

And then Harry is releasing over his stomach, painting his moth with it, over Zayn’s long fingers. It was probably the hardest he came, it feels as if he’s not gonna come down and will keep coming, it is more than satisfying than just using his hand and vision of the cheekbone’s and his favorite eyes behind his closed, heavy lids.

Zayn grunts Harry’s name as he feels him squeezing around him so hard; pulling him in closer, deeper into him. Harry’s hand on the back of his neck burning his skin, fingers digging into his neck, and he releases too, hard, groaning into Harry.

Both of them a beautiful mess. But it feels so pure in its entirety. They keep moving and rocking together riding off their high, their movements slowing down gradually after some time.

They stay like that for a while on their knees and Zayn kisses Harry on mouth, a tired sweet kiss so different from earlier as he starts to pull out. His head spins at Harry’s broken sigh then.

Harry felt frozen in time, like nothing else mattered. He could only feel Zayn, only could see Zayn, and it was the only thing that mattered, that they were together.

They plopped down on bed, Harry feeling all boneless and buzzing. Zayn tried to clean them with the sheets as much as he could before taking Harry in his arms. They were facing each other laying on their sides, Harry looking at Zayn lovingly and sated, their hand stroking each other’s side and back.

Harry closed his eyes to memorize this, when he opened his eyes he watched Zayn looking at him, eyes wide and twinkling, a small smile on his lips.

“What?” Harry asks running his finger over the soft skin under Zayn’s eyes.

Zayn doesn’t answer, he doesn’t need to for Harry to understand what he is feeling. He shakes head slightly and turns Harry on his side such that his back is against his chest. “You’re perfect Haz. I’m so proud.”

Harry feels a kiss at side of his face after that and he just squeezes Zayn’s hand resting over his hip with his own, fingers intertwined.

***

Zayn wakes up to Harry’s phone ringing after they dozed off. He doesn’t know what time it is but it feels like early morning.

He looks over to find it ringing on the table in the corner of the room. He sits up and looks down to see Harry sleeping snoring cutely. He catches himself smiling as he remembers the memories when they used to sleep in the same room and how His snoring annoyed him at first. _Damn those memories. _He kisses his forehead as he takes in his sleeping form and the blooming marks on his beautiful skin, when he still can.

Zayn is wearing Harry’s not so tiny shorts after he freshened up and throws a hoodie on top. He sees Harry is still sleeping as he makes his way after closing the bathroom door behind him.

“Haz?, babe your phone, someone’s calling you.” he tries to wake Harry up when his phone rings again.

Harry stirs a bit before he turns on his back and stretches when he fully wakes up. He slowly sits up leaning on headboard. _Sore_ _muscles_.

“I’m gonna go make coffee.” Zayn says before padding out of the bedroom, leaving Harry to attend the call. “Come down after you finish babe.”

He brews a fresh pot of coffee for them, still feeling bit sleepy, he checks his phone and it is loaded with notifications. He texts his mum back, replies to some people from his team. And _ignores_ rest of the stuff for now.

He just finished smoking when Harry comes through the door walking straight where he is sitting on the island and hugs him close. Zayn notices he is wearing only a pair of shorts and he smells fresh and amazing. 

“’S everything okay? Zayn enquires. “Are you alright?”

Harry nods, “Yeah I’m okay Zayn.” Giving him a soft smile and sleepy eyes.

“It’s just I’m kind of sore and the team wants me to do promo and stuff and all I want to do is sleep right now.”

Zayn snorts at that. “Do you have to go?”

“No, not right now.” Harry answers as he pours a cup for himself. He doesn’t have to leave to go anywhere for the promotion.

“They want me to have a look at people’s reaction for the posters that we did, I told you about that right?” He looks back at Zayn before continuing, “Just like… how fans are reacting to it and all.”

He takes a sip as Zayn waits for him to continue.

“So they want me to acknowledge it and tweet and reply to fans.”

“Okay, so that’s good then.”

“Yeah it is good, and I know I should do it to promote upcoming stuff. But it’s just that I’m scared, Z” Harry hesitates a bit before answering. “I’m just putting it all out there, and it really is freaking me out.”

Zayn does not interrupt him sensing that Harry is not finished talking.

“It is a new sound, new me. And I don’t know how the fans will like it and that makes me not want to see how they will react.” Harry continues, running his fingertip over the rim of his cup.

“Harry you have nothing to worry about. Your fans and all other people all over the world love you.” Zayn answers feeling happy that Harry is sharing it with him now.

“They adore you. You’ve come so far and the true fans will always have your back.” Zayn says reaching up his hand to run his thumb over Harry’s hand in comfort.

“And as I’ve seen it, they will go fucking mad over it.” Zayn continues smiling up at Harry. “Take this as a positive, and there is no point in thinking about people who hate, fuck them yeah. Do what you have to do.”

Harry blinks at him, taking in the way Zayn is talking about it all. That’s a new thing too.

“So go online check what’s been happening. How they are reacting and tweet or something, yeah. It will be great I know.”

He knows he is been stalling and he can’t avoid it anymore than he’s already done now.

After gulping down another cup or two, Harry checks his notifications. There are a lot, looks like thousands. He gulps down hard and calls his team to have a small chat as to be clear what he will do and then how they are going to wait and prepare to drop the single. What pictures he should tweet and post and stuff.

Zayn looks over at Harry as he is talking on the phone, and thinks about he should make something for them to eat. He kind of feels hungry now as he thinks about it. He is relaxed enough to eat without worrying now and it’ll be good for Harry too.

Harry takes a deep breath and comes over where they were sitting after ending the call. It’s time to do what he was dreading for all this time.

“I’m going to tweet.” He says to Zayn who’s at the counter chopping something, humming a tune under his breath. His gentle voice makes Harry’s nerves to wash away. Harry is hearing him sing in front of him after so long, it makes him overjoyed, as he listens mesmerized.

“Yeah okay babe.” Zayn says over his shoulder.

And Harry finds himself staring at the back of Zayn who is fixing them something to eat, and Harry can’t help but notice how beautiful it all feels.

Zayn, here at his home, being all domestic. He is cooking and singing. Harry feels high as he thinks how effortless and simple it all feels. He wants more of it. It’s a taste of a normalcy that he craves. _If only we can have it._

He notes that it is something they _deserve_.

He shakes his head as he realizes Zayn caught him staring when he turns around to walk up to him with their plates, sitting them down and sliding on the bar stool so that they can eat.

Harry’s cheeks turn pink and he tries to control the joy bubbling inside him. And he looks down at his phone checking it so as to have something else to do as he avoids Zayn’s eyes.

Harry smiles to himself as he checks out few tweets about people talking about finding the posters and assuming how it must be his album’s name. Fans talking about where they found the posters in different cities and posting pictures of them. They eat in peaceful silence not wanting to disturb it.

He thinks long about what he should tweet before he decides to type out the simple “Do” and puts his phone down after hitting tweet.

He knows what is going to come as his phone will go off with his mentions blowing up in a flash.

Harry looks over at Zayn, as he feels his hands shake a little bit with excitement and the nerves. Zayn gives him a reassuring smile and he takes a deep breath again.

Zayn reaches for his phone as it rings, thumbing it open. He smiles wide as he looks at screen reading the cryptic tweet Harry did, a total Harry thing to do.

Harry just smiles showing his dimple and shrugs when Zayn looks up at him with a mischievous smile. He knows that kind of smile and can clearly see wheels turning in Zayn’s head.

Zayn takes a bite of his sandwich, looks up at Harry who is watching him intently. “Got an idea, what do you say to make fans go crazy and internet to break.”

Harry smiles at him, knowing what Zayn means. “Really, you would do that?” He exclaims in wonder.

“Haven’t I’d done it before babe.” Zayn says simply as it’s the ultimate truth. “Would have done it anyways.”

A bright smile threatens to break on Harry’s face.

“You feel alright if I do yeah” Zayn searches Harry’s face, he knows Harry likes the support he shows.

Harry smiles brightly then as Zayn winks at him and reaches forward to press a kiss to his lips. He tastes like coffee and cigarette and tomato from the sandwich he made them. He feels on the cloud nine right now.

Harry pulls him back in for a second kiss before Zayn can sit back.

They finish their sandwich; they share sweet kisses against counter, laughing into each other necks as they spread on the couch, barely paying attention at TV screen.

Harry watches Zayn walk back to island and take a sit after he went up to slide the blinds of the windows down. Zayn then takes his phone out and clicks a selfie, making sure it’s good, and it is just like how he wants it. Harry keeps watching Zayn, can’t keep his eyes from him. Zayn looks hot, brooding and beautiful as always, and it makes Harry’s heart flutter, and can feel the warmth spreading through him.

Just like Zayn has done it before, even when they were not together, true to his words he posts the picture.

They are spread out on the couch in each other arms and they are having movie marathon again. Zayn is stroking Harry’s curls like he used to do. Knowing tsunami of mentions is about to come. So they are enjoying the minutes to themselves. 

***

Their phone starts to blow off and they know it is happening. They laugh at fans going crazy over them, not in a mean way or menacingly, but just enjoying how fans love them. How they loved to stir the world up.

At how many connections they can form. And all the sappy messages.

“Told you they go crazy.” Zayn says watching Harry relaxed in his arms, his lips turned up into small smile.

“Yeah I know.” Harry nods and hums out his response, enjoying the feel of Zayn’s fingers in his hair, soothing and calm.

“I missed out on your long hair. Baby tarzan.” Zayn pulls at Harry’s hair teasingly making him hiss.

Harry scoffs at that. “At least I have hair.” Harry says as he pokes at Zayn’s side with his elbow in retaliation.

“You are practically bald, next time grow out your hair when you come.” The words flow out of his mouth before he can control himself, his eyes going wide. He feels panicking at the way it looks, how that must sound.

Like he is suggesting that there would be next time when he doesn’t have a clue about where they will go after this, or where they stand.

But he looks up at Zayn frowning adorably at him being called bald, and isn’t looking like he is mad for the rest of what he said. So he takes it as a good thing and cackles loudly, when Zayn tickles him and swallow his laugh with kisses.

Harry feels content, they don’t talk much and he knows Zayn will leave afterwards, he will get busy promoting and planning with the tour. But he takes this, because this moment right now, it is _priceless_. It _is_ theirs.

He knows they have long way to go but right now they are happy, Zayn is healthy, he is here with him, and mature and accepting and as romantic as ever. They had the best time and he doesn’t want himself to ruin it. He just can’t.

So he doesn’t force Zayn to say anything or be more or do more than he is comfortable. He just squeezes his hands and kisses over at their intertwined fingers. And he hopes and wishes that Zayn knows it is what he wants. That they _can_ have it and he is waiting.

Zayn kisses him sweetly capturing his lips between his showing that he get him.

So they enjoy their time together without any pressure, no one particular waiting back at home for Zayn. Just being themselves.

***

“By the way you sound incredible in rumors. So sexy.” Harry says laughing and panting in between kisses when he tries to catch his breath as the end credits roll on screen.

“Yeah, I know.” Zayn shrugs.

“So you are okay with it all right… I mean… I mean like the video and the message it has…” Harry feels the need to get it cleared again, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“It’s alright. We are who we are yeah.” He presses a kiss to Harry’s palm.

Harry felt so content and serene and smiled as he looked at Zayn watching him with adoration.

And Harry wishes to just be and live in this moment forever. Harry wishes with all his might.

_Is this how the heaven feels like?_

_ It all feels so divine, and so pure. _

_ _

Fin.


End file.
